I have to say that today is not the best day ever. After waiting for almost two weeks, today is finally the day. The day that they announce are we or are we not eligible from our University, as a general practitioner. Well, not as I predicted, I'm not eligible (yet). I didn't pass one of my comprehensive examination, and the University give us the second chance to do over.
I don't know how to react at first, knowing almost half of my batch are already being a doctor today, but not me. It felt terrible. I don't know if I'm overreacting, it just so devastated. Thankfully I got my boyfriend all along today. He's been very sweet and thoughtful, encouraging me that this is the way God loves me, so much.
If some people ask me, do I ready to be a doctor? I would probably just stand still, and don't know what to say. To be honest, being a real doctor takes more than just pass so many exams that we've done, it's more than that. It needs a commitment to a never ending study, and a pure heart to understand people. Maybe for awhile I might have forgot about the fact that if I pass or not, I still got to study for the sake of my patients. Now I understand that Allah still gives me times to realize about it all, and want me to be a better doctor in the future, not just a man with a white coat.
If I'm gonna take a Hippocratic Oath some day, I will truly take it as a real doctor that ready to get off to the real world.
Thank you Allah for loving me in a different way. I know it's gonna make me stronger.
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